Nurse Appreciation Day Pillows

'The first aid team has the day off.'

'Sorry, but we are shorthanded today...'

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

"Nurse, you've mixed up the helium and oxygen again haven't you ?"

'It's not for soaking your feet... it's a bedpan!'

Nurse's introduction training - "We don't get the quality of student we used to"

Doctor organises medical documents into 'poked' and 'prodded' piles.

'My goodness, how many miricle drugs did they give you?'

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

Keyworker

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

Medical personnel give their hearts

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

Woman in hospital has i.v. attached to plant.

'You are a very good nurse. You're actually listening to what I'm saying.'

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

"You'll feel a pinch and then a burn."

'Long shift?'

'Thanks, but I don't expect you to chew my food for me.'

'It's not easy being fabulous and caretaking.'

'The doctor will acknowlege your existance now.'

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

Good Dentist ~ Bad Dentist

"She's the best nit nurse this school has ever seen."

"We'll have someone to help you as soon as we've recruited and trained them. Shouldn't be more than 5 or 6 years!"

'She's one of our nurses hiding from the patient load.'

"I don't leave home without it!"

'Apply that ointment as directed and call me if the growth does not reduce or it starts to talk.'

Cuba applauds its doctors

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."

"Who's got excellent kidney function, according to this most recent round of tests? You do! Yes, you do!"

'Still no improvement? Nurse, attach more gizmos.'