Nurse Appreciation Day Pillows

'The first aid team has the day off.'

'Sorry, but we are shorthanded today...'

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

"Nurse, you've mixed up the helium and oxygen again haven't you ?"

'It's not for soaking your feet... it's a bedpan!'

Nurse's introduction training - "We don't get the quality of student we used to"

Doctor organises medical documents into 'poked' and 'prodded' piles.

'My goodness, how many miricle drugs did they give you?'

Hospital with specials board

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

Medical personnel give their hearts

Keyworker

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

Woman in hospital has i.v. attached to plant.

'You are a very good nurse. You're actually listening to what I'm saying.'

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

'Long shift?'

'The doctor will acknowlege your existance now.'

'Thanks, but I don't expect you to chew my food for me.'

'You've got restless wag syndrome.'

"You'll feel a pinch and then a burn."

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

'It's not easy being fabulous and caretaking.'

"We'll have someone to help you as soon as we've recruited and trained them. Shouldn't be more than 5 or 6 years!"

Good Dentist ~ Bad Dentist

"She's the best nit nurse this school has ever seen."

'She's one of our nurses hiding from the patient load.'

"I don't leave home without it!"

'Apply that ointment as directed and call me if the growth does not reduce or it starts to talk.'

"Who's got excellent kidney function, according to this most recent round of tests? You do! Yes, you do!"

"Nobody listens to me complain quite like you do."