Nuptial Knick-knacks Collector T-Shirts

'-and then after your fifth we let you keep it!'

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

'These are job perks.'

Posh Easter Egg

'Oh, I don't have a problem, doc. My friend here has a problem.'

'We can't cut entitlements for federal employees. We're federal employees.'

'Not till you're sixteen.'

'What do you mean, our marriage license has expired?'

Antiques/Collectible/Bric-A-Brac/Garbage.

Leon blows a great chance to keep his mouth shut.

'Nobody really agrees about what marriage is these days, so I'll just say 'Yadda yadda yadda.''

'The company had a good quarter, so we've decided to give you that company vehicle you've been wanting.'

So the Queen doesn't do registry offices! Probably why she didn't come to our wedding!

May I have your frequent flier points and corporate parking space, sir?

'He was just the same with my frankincense - more interested in the box!'

'I do. Just don't let it go to your head.'

A. 'That's Jones's daughter with him. She's just about to be married.' B. 'Who's the lucky man?' A. 'Jones.'

'Buy old masters, they hold their value better than old mistresses.'

'I have reason to believe that my sister is getting a bigger allowance than me. I think you and mom should be more forthcoming and transparent.'

'Harry's living in the past.'

"I'm looking for something special that says 'Meow.'"

When God compliments your tie, just go with it.

'Oh wow! They're got brown pottery, stained glass sun catchers and cows cut out of plywood!'

Trader captured by own toys

"Tex encounters the Knick-Knack Indians."

'This nuthouse you're hoarding is going to land you in the nuthouse.'

"And here's my wine cellar. It can hold 4,000 bottles, in theory."

"We've been married for twenty-five years. Perhaps we should remove the last remaining can."

"What do you mean, you're getting cold feet? We've been married six years."

Snake centrefolds.