Nuptial Knick-knacks Collector T-Shirts

'-and then after your fifth we let you keep it!'

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

'These are job perks.'

Posh Easter Egg

Elton John

'Oh, I don't have a problem, doc. My friend here has a problem.'

An early Picasso painting is sold at auction - it is a painting from when Picasso was a child

'We can't cut entitlements for federal employees. We're federal employees.'

'Not till you're sixteen.'

'I just found out my vintage Roy Rogers lunch box is worth more than my 401k.'

'What do you mean, our marriage license has expired?'

"I'm sorry son, was that, 'I do', or 'please kill me'?"

Antiques/Collectible/Bric-A-Brac/Garbage.

Leon blows a great chance to keep his mouth shut.

'Nobody really agrees about what marriage is these days, so I'll just say 'Yadda yadda yadda.''

'The company had a good quarter, so we've decided to give you that company vehicle you've been wanting.'

May I have your frequent flier points and corporate parking space, sir?

'He was just the same with my frankincense - more interested in the box!'

So the Queen doesn't do registry offices! Probably why she didn't come to our wedding!

'I do. Just don't let it go to your head.'

'Buy old masters, they hold their value better than old mistresses.'

Press has special toaster with different settings: Elvis Image/God's Name/Mother Teresa.

A. 'That's Jones's daughter with him. She's just about to be married.' B. 'Who's the lucky man?' A. 'Jones.'

'Harry's living in the past.'

'I have reason to believe that my sister is getting a bigger allowance than me. I think you and mom should be more forthcoming and transparent.'

"And here's my wine cellar. It can hold 4,000 bottles, in theory."

"Please ask your wife to stop talking. We're gaining too much altitude."

"Tex encounters the Knick-Knack Indians."

When God compliments your tie, just go with it.

"I'm looking for something special that says 'Meow.'"

Trader captured by own toys

'Oh wow! They're got brown pottery, stained glass sun catchers and cows cut out of plywood!'

'This nuthouse you're hoarding is going to land you in the nuthouse.'

"We've been married for twenty-five years. Perhaps we should remove the last remaining can."

"What do you mean, you're getting cold feet? We've been married six years."