Nuptial Jokesters Prints

'He's right, you know. You're not allowed to bring a date to your own wedding.'

'And you, William Elwood Hoonavogel, are you willing to give up your free range status?'

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

'And thanks be to the lord that we're going out to eat on Friday...'

"Do you think someday we'll look back on this and laugh?"

'Despite his laser eye surgery, he still doesn't see the mess he leaves in the living room every day.'

"If she's a write off can you let me know the scrap value?"

Bride is angry, as she notices that the groom figure on the cake is drunk.

"I'm sorry Jayne, but I've got cold feet."

'I didn't know the church sold an extended warrenty on marriage?'

Australian wedding, sheep gesturing, 'If there's anybody here who knows why these two should not be wed...'

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

"If I'd known, I would've changed my vows to; Until bald and fat do we part."

"Horace, what are we doing on the same cloud? Our vows said 'till death do us part.'"

'Mom, would you have married Dad if you had seen him in high definition first?'

'Is this what you're looking for, dear?'

Groom carries bride across threshold, goes back to carry in mother-in-law.

"Actually, it's customary to say 'I do' to the groom, rather than text it."

''Love, honor, and obey'? -- I had something less structured in mind.'

'I now pronounce you husband and wife. Let the nagging begin.'

"I now pronounce you guilty."

"I hate her snoring, especially during sex."

'...I now pronounce you man and wife. You may assume the position.'

"What are you doing in the box? You're meant to be in the dog house"

"Tell me, have you ever been in a church prior to getting married?"

'I should warn you -- I don't have any tattoos.'

"OK, but I'll have to run it by my husband."

"For better or for worse, from pre-nuptial contract to no-fault divorce..."

"I should've done this years ago. All the good ones got taken."

Bob's Marriage Advice: 'Let me give you some advice on marriage, Joe. . . try to think of me as the pope. . .'

'...Love, honor, cherish, and be careful what you wish for.'

'My pre-nuptial agreement reads, she's too good for me, but will marry me anyway!'

'Surprised she's getting married again. In lieu of wedding gifts, she's asking for donations to help retain a divorce lawyer.'