Numerical Thinker Pillows

I've always been more of a numbers guy. M. R. S. B. D. A. 2. 8. 3. 6. 4.

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

The Googler

"Do you promise to love, honour and contribute to the gross national product?"

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

'I don't know if money grows on trees, son. I know it doesn't grow in fields.'

Economy Slows: 'It's still too fast for me.'

'According to our fact finding committee, our stock won't be worth a dime this quarter.'

Us. Everyone else. My research shows that we are the only statistics company sill using pie charts displayed on an easel.

Staff Yearbook

The IRS emptied my pouch.

'Mr Rombly has cancelled his appointment. The Dow is up and he's feeling no pain.'

'But if you need someone for the intangibles...'

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

Life on Earth - maths advice.

Pi fight!

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

'Frankly, I'm a little concerned.'

"You call yourselves a demographic?"

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

'They're called 'numbers' -- Now we can have public opinion polls!'

Business Philosophy 101.

'Then he smiled and his very last words were 'Now the inland revenue will never find out!''

"Your assets will be frozen? Oh, boy, is it going to snow?"

'How can two plus three equal five? Yesterday you said one plus four equal five.'

New For Halloween! Sexy C.P.A.

Here We Go Again

"Of course there's emotion in business. Has your heart never skipped a beat at the sight of a long string of zeros after a seven."

"How can our Russian affiliate be losing money? I thought that country was out of the red."

'But the short term view is very good.'

'This year we're in really great shape. Nobody understands our financial statement!'

'Well sure, if you want to get technical about it.'

'Our sabermetrics guy has confirmed that last year's team that went 60-102 was bad.'