Numerical Skeptic Pillows

'That 'multiplication table' seems contrived to me!'

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

'The wheel was easy, the owner's manual is hard!'

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

'Last year we increased sales by 100%.'

'Okay, let the minutes show we're not absconding with the money until the economy improves...'

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

BMA criticises 'Black Hole' of NHS IT spending

'I've been in Washington for 30 years, and that's the biggest rathole I'VE ever seen!'

"Are you sure he tested negative?"

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

'The cow jumped over the moon? The mouse ran up the clock? Steroids, right?'

'In other words, statistics prove that statisticians aren't always right.'

Coincidence or What?

'Don't hide behind sales figures, Bill. We both know terminating me is philosophically unsound.'

'I hope there's something better on the 'other side'!..'

'Great speech on the future of the economy. You said nothing with great conviction.'

'We studied the multiplication table in school today -- frankly, I don't believe a word of it.'

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

We lost money in every division, but through the magic of accounting, our Take A Penny Leave A Penny trays earned $46 million.

"I gained 10 pounds? I've brought my own bathroom scale for a second opinion."

Weight Gain Denial

"Anyway, it turned out that god was a ruddy algorithm after all!"

'No, it's not water. You seem to be retaining food.'

'It may look that way... But actually, I'm an atheist

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

"Dad, this survey says too much study is bad for you..."

"and what are you giving up for lent, Reverend?" "Religion"

'Do I ever wonder about a higher power? No, I wonder what's on TV.'

'How do we know YOU'RE not bearing false witness?'

Door labelled: 'False Economy Analysis & Research.'

"Huh! Never a miracle vaccine when you want one - then three come along at the same time - bloody typical!"