Numbers Magician Pillows

'There are lies, damn lies, and statistics. We're looking for someone who can make all three of these work for us.'

'And that's with massaging the numbers!'

"When you're nailing the numbers, they don't ask questions."

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

Time Is Money

"And now, a little theorem for all you lovers out there."

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

'The path to becoming an astronaut is rougher than I thought.'

Three businessmen using a pulley system to change a graph

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.

"The new revenue stream is finally kicking in."

'At the sales department, we've got to meet our performance targets. We're not here to care about reality.'

Counting part time employees is the new math.

Investing your savings

"My accountant is brilliant - he has just had a loophole names after him!"

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

"Well, I'm studying mathematics and I'm sure that's tougher than math."

'And this is my strategic money reserve.'

Smiling businessman with rising profits

"Everything's gone up."

"Well, you say it's wrong, but it could be correct in an alternative universe."

"Maths is easy because it's so logical. 2 + 2 obviously equals 22."

Geeky looking guy looks at incomprehensible mathematical problem: 'And this equation proves beyond doubt that I have wasted my life.'

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

'Guess who made a bushel today?'

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'

Professor of Fuzzy Logic.

The Forever Stamp

"For my next trick, I shall turn four consecutive quarters of losses into a positive outlook going forward."

Man breaks piggy bank to find another smaller piggy bank inside.

Sister to brother: 'It's kind of like alphabet soup, only for numbers crunchers.'

'My mother says I have a vivid imagination.'

Man rotates profit chart so it shows growth not loss.