Number Wizard Pillows

'Half of the numbers are accurate, that's why we're auditing the remaining 56%.'

'I think the problem is that you're using generally acceptable accounting practices.'

"We've seen all the data and crunched all the numbers, now, heads or tails?"

"Daddy doesn't know any magic tricks. Daddy knows accounting tricks."

Inexplicable accounts.

'He's our finance director - kind of old school.'

'And this is where the magic happens.'

'I don't condone unethical accounting practices Henderson - On the other hand, I don't frown on a little numeric creativity.'

"When I listen to Mozart, the numbers just seem to crunch themselves."

Creative accounting.

'Simms is causing some real morale problems with the sales staff.'

"I was an eight, too, until the number crunchers got hold of me."

"And now, out of thin air, I present to you the very numbers you were hoping to see."

'He's a quick learner. He's already memorized the last four digits of his social security number.'

'I get it, but I'm an accountant. When you explain it to the board of directors, try to demystify the process.'

Financial Advisor - Reading Racing Post

"You wouldn't dare say that to me if my accountant were here."

'Four million, eight hundred seventeen thousand sixty three... two? Wait... four... wait, oh boy, I probably should have been writing this down.'

'Did you know if you turn a calculator upside-down you can write 'boobs'?'

'Speculation, speculation, speculation!'

The accountant's visit

"The numbers don't lie . . . but we do."

Creative Accounting.

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'

'This doesn't leave much room for creativity.'

"...And the good news is that we only lost two billion dollars last year!"

"I really like to push the envelope. I've even been known to do quintuple-entry bookkeeping!"

"I note that you 'kill"

"As you can see, we're happy with the sales report."

Tax accountant

"I'm comfortable with the numbers but you might need to revisit the order you've put them in."

"The first thing we need to do is straighten up this account."

"I understand he used to be in treasury management!"

IRS, 'I can grant you an extension, but it's going to COST you.'

STRIP Hambone: Random Number Generator