Number Crunching Wordsmith Pillows

Accounting's poet laureate.

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

Shakespeare loved a grammar joke

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

Best Seller

'Did you really mean both me and a hippopotamus evolved from a tiny blob in the ocean?'

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

We don't call these savage screaming fits. We call them confrontation verbal interfacing.

"He belongs to a lawyer."

"Remorse sits in my stomach like a piece of stale bread. How does that sound?"

'To err is human... but to forgive is against company policy!'

Accountant Manqué

'He never listened to his mother!'

A Poet

Olden Day Battle of the Bands (Bard vs Sonnet).

You trip on it, you buy it.

"What's 'ET' short for. . . ?"

Sharp Eyes

"I got into the coffee for the wordplay."

Male On Sunday

"I just got a huge advance for my first novel. It's about a writer who gets a huge advance for his first novel."

'I'd better check it for punctuation before you give it to him.'

'I hear he's quite a recluse - doesn't even have a blog.'

"Wow, I cannot remember what I was saying."

Bagel problems.

"I'm the writer-in-residence."

Bell Hop

Tom Stoppard

He's very disciplined about his writing, three hours staring at a blank screen every morning and five in the afternoon.

Art Gecko.

'Branding is essential if you're to survive in the Jungle of modern law...'

Beware of a first kiss that speaks volumes.

'Before we get into the scope, the breadth, the gravity and the cost of this mess...pour yourself a drink...'