Number Crunching Jokester T-Shirts

'Come quickly, sir! - Accounting is having an ennui attack!'

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

Math Camp. I should have read the brochure more carefully before I signed up -- It says "Go on an add-venture and have sum fun"!

A crab with a utility knife claw

'You reached the Nervous Investor Fund's Hotline. The per share value is now 19.05, now 18.91, now...'

"Seriously, do you expect us to believe you put on 143 feet a day in business travel?"

'Twitter for goldfish.'

Drainpipe in a sombrero.

"Okay, who's been messing with the copy machine?"

'If you don't behave we'll unfreeze your stem cells!'

Pork Bellies.

"You idiots … we lost!"

"We can't just pluck figures out of the air any more. . . We use a bucket."

"The accounting change that contributed most to the quarter was adding three zeros to the revenue number."

A rising tide may lift all boats but I sank all my savings in beachfront properties.

And if you help drive the herd all the way to Kansas City, you get to keep one steer for yourself! The first stock option.

Lengray's 1,001 practical Jokes for beginners (a man getting punched in the face with a mechanical glove).

"It's the formula for a black hole."

'You call it a beer belly, I prefer to think of it as a lump sum settlement of liquid assets.'

tax

"He put the 'fun' in funding."

"Is there a humorist in the house?"

Dry Hard with a Vengeance

"Well, if I was ambitious, we'd have a nice house and more money, but I'd never be around."

'The electricians hot-wired the building inspector's car seat again.'

"We'll double our chances of recovery if we buy two lottery tickets."

Luck of the IRS.

"Tag! Your salary's frozen."

'...or you could fill out this Form 666 and get a filing extension for all eternity.'

'Well, well. You made thirteen hundred dollars more last year than you did the year before -- you people never learn, do you?'

'... and I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those dang meddling kids... that and my incredibly stupid plan. Also in retrospect, I realize my costume was, regrettably, quite lame.'

The disgusting, embarrassing sound of a whoopie cushion...

Unselfish by nature - he delights to show the novice where the big chub cruise...and where the best pike lie.