Number Crunching Camaraderie T-Shirts

'You reached the Nervous Investor Fund's Hotline. The per share value is now 19.05, now 18.91, now...'

"Seriously, do you expect us to believe you put on 143 feet a day in business travel?"

The good news is that I've got all the figures...the BAD news is that I'm not sure what order to put them in!

Workplace Shinanigans

"We can't just pluck figures out of the air any more. . . We use a bucket."

'In case the guys organize a game.'

"I wonder if management will believe my project?"

"The accounting change that contributed most to the quarter was adding three zeros to the revenue number."

"Look, I'm the bobblehead of this team."

Bertrand Russell

"He put the 'fun' in funding."

'We can't cut out the middle man. With the government in the picture now we are the middle man.'

'...or you could fill out this Form 666 and get a filing extension for all eternity.'

"Well, I think we've proved our point...you want to push it, or should I?"

'It's true

Retrofitting Tax Loopholes Since 1968.

'Well, well. You made thirteen hundred dollars more last year than you did the year before -- you people never learn, do you?'

Congress introducing new tax laws to CPAs and businesses.

Room for Error

Lester crosses that very fine line separating cost accounting from performance art...

"Workboy"

"In a perfect world, yes - but you can't claim taxes as a business loss."

ACcountants Lunch

'No campaign contributions to deduct? -- Tsk, tsk, tsk....'

"I see you're still fishing for that key piece of data."

'There are few moments in business more exciting than the quarterly placing of the decimal point.'

Revenue Canada gift shop.

'We have a problem!'

'As I'm sure you all remember, right here is when we all stopped caring!'

'When you cook up a figure make it an odd number like £321.42, not £300.'

'I know that numbers do lie since I happen to work for the IRS.'

"Oh, what the hell, I'll add another zero."