Npr Fan Prints

'If I was any more relaxed, I could host a NPR program.'

New to podcasts? Choose a genre!

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

'Mixed day on Wall Street. Economic indicators were up, but executive bonuses were down.'

'We should e-mail this and point out that many of our victims were in key marginals...'

Men discussing a book on a chat show

"My real money comes from my TV news appearances predicting stock market rises and falls."

"Well I think the Real question is..."

"So, colony collapse disorder - how funny is it?"

"A man threatens to destroy town with army of turtles after dispute with city hall. Local authorities initiate a shell-ter in place in preparation for the noc-turtle invasion."

News remote

War and Peace GIF

"I see myself as a lot like Garbo, but very much a people person!"

"It took me a long time to teach him how to fetch a newspaper."

Retired Talk Show Host.

'So...you claim Farmer Jones kept you locked up naked in a dirty sty, fed nothing but garbage and repetitively called you a filthy swine!'

How are my Lies, Distortions, Mud-Slinging? 1-800 Politics.

Life is better with a laugh track and graphics.

'Alan's claim to fame is that he was once a Jay Leno punch line.'

Trump's firings

"Now, now, let's try using our NPR voice."

Venom

'This is not about regime change, honest.'

Modern Scienstist

I, for one, welcome our new Kenyan overlord!