Npr Fan Mugs

'If I was any more relaxed, I could host a NPR program.'

New to podcasts? Choose a genre!

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

"I'm Lester Holt, and this, is date night."

"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"

'Mixed day on Wall Street. Economic indicators were up, but executive bonuses were down.'

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

Men discussing a book on a chat show

'We should e-mail this and point out that many of our victims were in key marginals...'

"My real money comes from my TV news appearances predicting stock market rises and falls."

"So, colony collapse disorder - how funny is it?"

News remote

"A man threatens to destroy town with army of turtles after dispute with city hall. Local authorities initiate a shell-ter in place in preparation for the noc-turtle invasion."

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, I am 62 years old and was fired from my job of 22 years just before xmas 2010. What should I do? Sincerely, Irene. Attack! Stop! Enough, Sadie. Haven't you been listening? The mean-spirited, virulent partisanship of talk show hosts must end. People were hurt and some died. Aren't you the ultimate partisan, you coot? That's different lady! Fasten your seatbelts.

"Well I think the Real question is..."

War and Peace GIF

"I see myself as a lot like Garbo, but very much a people person!"

How are my Lies, Distortions, Mud-Slinging? 1-800 Politics.

'So...you claim Farmer Jones kept you locked up naked in a dirty sty, fed nothing but garbage and repetitively called you a filthy swine!'

Retired Talk Show Host.

"It took me a long time to teach him how to fetch a newspaper."

Life is better with a laugh track and graphics.

"Like many in your field, you will end up in Congress."

Conan O'Brian

Trump's firings

'Alan's claim to fame is that he was once a Jay Leno punch line.'

Welcome to the "Ask Sadie" radio hour. You're on, Kenosha. What's your problem?! I'm a grad student pursuing my PhD. in robotics. Under the recent tax plan that passed the House, I'd have to count my tuition waiver as income, even though I never received any actual money. This would put me in a higher tax bracket and I'd have to drop out because I could never afford to pay those taxes. Good riddance, Poindexter. Science is nothing but gobbledygook anyway. Studies have shown that's not the case.

"Now, now, let's try using our NPR voice."

Graham Norton

Modern Scienstist

TV SALES, 'Will the violence chip block out Joy Behar?'

Akron, OH, you're on Ask Sadie. What's your problem?! I'm thinking of not signing up for health insurance this year. Good idea. In my day, there was no such thing as health insurance. If you got sick, you paid for it with either money or chickens. That's if you were a lily-livered coward who just had to see a doctor. When great great grandmother Cohen had her sixth heart attack, she just applied a poultice made of chestnut leaves and flour and kept plowing.

'Whoever said, 'There are no stupid questions,' never listened to talk radio.'