Novice Painter T-Shirts

"I would like a tube of lemon yellow, cadmium red, cobalt blue, ivory, black, and zinc white, a sixteen-by-twenty canvas, a couple of brushes, and that book 'Painting in Oils'."

Painting by the numbers for adults

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

Artist's Equipment Comes To Life

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

'It's not easy painting hummingbirds.'

"Stop complaining and smile! It's a job, isn't it? NO wonder they call you Mona!"

"Which way to the Mona Lisa? We're double-parked."

'I agree, this artist will go far and he should start right now!'

"I don't know what happened, your holiness! I painted the ENTIRE CEILING!"

'I've been told I have Rembrandt's golden glow.'

Hazards of mouse painting

"My method of painting is pointillism."

This one's mixed media--- I had jelly on my hands while finger-painting.

"It all starts with them having you fetch their slippers."

Like many kids, Bobby had an imaginary friend. Unfortunately for Bobby, he was a critic.

"There are those who say I'm a throwback to Monet."

A Christmas tree self portrait

Artist Retrospective.

Eugene Delacroix

Truthfully, I'm just a frustrated insurance agent …

Two New Paintbrushes

Alberto Giacometti.

'What are they worth? Well, it's difficult to put a price on such extraordinary works of art. How much you got?'

'...and you can wash that pea-green crap off - I want Magnolia.'

'You did that on purpose!'

"Landscapes are nice but have considered painting still lifes?...maybe apples?"

Queuing for a Turner, Whistle, Monet exhibition in the rain - 'Atmospheric, isn't it?'

'You never smile at me like that!'

'I started out as a sculptor, but I kept hitting my thumb.'

Artist painting a dancer.

The Worst Date Ever

Woman shops while man sets up noose. "Do I go with bright white, deep white...."

Picasso's learning years.

"Let me know if I'm going too fast for you."