Novice Businessman T-Shirts

Stuff Broken

"Jill Hamster's entrepreneurial disaster"

The Rubber Ball Company

'Wow! I never thought it would actually WORK!'

"If I seem excited, Mr. Bolling, it's only because I know that I can make you a very rich man."

Lemonade Stand With Free Wi-Fi

"I love fast break business success."

Bookstore. The Stock Market for Dummies. It's either an instructional guide or a history of recent economics.

'Then it's settled. We'll make 7 million with blue handles, 5 million with red handles, 4 million with purple handles and 2 million with green handles.'

Creating dummy corporations for dummies.

'I became successful when my dreams changed from the Cary Grants of the world to federal grants.'

'Since we downsized the board of directors profits are up 300 percent.'

"My ship had finally come in. . . then it sank!"

Financial Services For Lawyers...Beginner's Class...

Intelligent dog.

"This is my first book, but if I like it I may buy another in the near future."

'I'm important to note we really are trying hard.'

"Yes very good, but when I say I need to see your business model before agreeing any loan, I mean your strategy."

And the third quarter projection

"Triple whammy."

'It saves me the trouble of constantly asking myself 'What's my motivation?''

Look, dork, I won't ask again. Will you help me use a computer? Maybe. What for? Internet Scrabble. I hear it is possible to play – what is the word? Online? I should like to send data over cyberspace. Through cyberspace.

BUSINESS PRESCHOOL

"Today, State Street. Tomorrow, the State!"

"What's my collar size?"

Ambitions. . . To Make It To The Top.

Management Styles - Inclusive

'My son decided to join the firm. You have six months to shape him into executive timber.'

Ready to move when the other guy blinks.

A salesman father waves to his son at the maternity ward.

'I'd join Twitter, but I'm worried I'll make a hash of it.'

"Tom, young Mr. Moncure here is that Harvard M.B.A. I was telling you about who has a keen sense of depreciation."

'They make a deal out of promoting someone around here.'

"Something's happened, Doug. I've lost touch with the Warren Buffett in me."

"Apparently you've come to somebody's attention."