Novelty Retailer Gifts

Marxist Elephant

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

Clown on bike.

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

"Wilson, I built this company from scratch!"

"Yes, I said bring me the king. . .But not that king."

Hay Rides $10

'Half-baked beans, low fat variety' "Who says we have no taste?"

Cash Machines From Across the Land

Peel poker.

"So, do you want balls that only go up, or ones that only go down?"

"This new phone app for opening the beer is great, Bruce!"

The Slug Replaces the Cheetah as the Fastest Animal on Earth.

Fossil record player.

'Tell your mom you coughed it up and you're guaranteed a day off from school.'

A crab with a utility knife claw

"Thanks—I got it off Amazon."

'Wait! That's not one of your novelty slippers...that's the cat!'

'What kind of filling would you like?'

LOL. Larry Lee Oppenheimer is no fan of monogrammed underwear.

'Each one is signed and numbered.'

Elton John

Family heirlooms that will never make it onto the mantelpiece.

"But I've seen a million wind-up monkeys. Wait! Did you say it bangs on a snare drum?"

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

Lavatory Waterfall

"I told you, Doctor! There's nothing in here!"

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

'Please enter your pin now.'

Inflatable Hands with Index and Middle fingers showing on sale for spectators at a Sports Stadium Event

'These new metal detectors are great!'

Who'd have guessed that the season's mast have item would be big springy shoes.

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

'We have a tour every hour, on the hour, Sir...'