Novelty Appliance Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Do you have a silent can opener? I have 3 dogs who pile all over me.'

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

"We're gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes."

"Do you want to suddenly decide we need a waffle maker?"

"Al, you've been chosen Businessman of the Year by the Junior Chamber of Commerce."

'Does this thing get channel four.'

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

Roasted

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

"Wow! The big guy! And what kind of B.T.U.s am I looking at here?"

Entertainment systems

"This new dough-maker attachment is going to pay for itself in no time.'

"My compliments to the can opener."

Linda discovers she had just baked the wrong ziti

'He'll do the dishes now that I've attached an accelerator.'

'With all these mega mergers between electronics and telecommunications firms, I just got an obscene email from the toaster...'

Microwave. Do you have any idea of the time pressure I'm under?

"To toast!"

"Does it come with magnets?"

"This is our high-traffic, reinforced, heavy-duty model."

"I was supposed to rinse them first? So, you're telling me somebody designed a machine to wash dishes, but we're supposed to make sure we wash the dishes before we put them in the machine?"

Bread maker, coffee maker, tea maker, pasta maker.

'Drat - the water purifier is on backwards.'

Castle drawbridge opens to reveal a dishwasher

"That is why you don't put 'instant rice' in a slow cooker."

'All the money we saved buying bulk food on sale we blew on this huge freezer!'

"Unfortunately, our user-friendly toaster is warranty-unfriendly!"

How the cords get all tangles up when you're away.

When it came to appliance repairs...Joe wasn't one to mince his words!

All the other land having been claimed and fenced already, Jedidiah bought his own range from the big box store.