Novel Navel Gazer Prints

"It's the Garden Street book club. They wanna rumble!"

Rocket Launch Control Centre Back in 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

"The sweater you knit him will be thrown out in February."

God Sneezes Out Creation

The Teen Years of A Red Delicious.

"I brought back important data on that blue planet called Earth."

You've read the book's dust jacket. Now, play the video game!

An alien in his space ship sees a space sign that says 'You are here'

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

Man admiring his patterned clothes in the mirror

"Yes, Jane Lyons, sitting next to Katy Jones, class of 2018, it is important for a writer to know her audience."

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

'Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest algologist of all?'

Horror Stories.

Emergency exit into Space

"What's the final episode of 'Seinfeld' about?""It's about nothing."

'I'll take it!'

Only then, did Medusa realise her mistake.

"Static cling."

"Hello - I'm from the future..."

Well, I finished my summer reading list – now what?

"Well, the alternative would be to use your social media accounts to promote toothlessness."

Hey, how was space? Fine. Jeez. The adolescent astronaut.

The Milky Way (Detail)

BLACK HOLES, the space path of least resistance.

'Warning: Use of oversized apertures or antennas will void warranty,'

"It's publish or perish, and he hasn't published."

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

Ask A Silly Question.

"It will be all your fault."