Nostalgic For Race Days Pillows

'These shooting sticks are not very comfortable!'

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

A day at the races

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

Smile

First past the post.

'I'm being punished. Nothing even remotely electronic for two weeks.'

"Did you see neighhhhhh...bours last night?"

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!

A tessellation of running figures.

Bradley Wiggins

Loser's Podium.

1st Place in the Egg and Spoon Race

"Howard's gone on the Tour de France without his bicycle again."

Only horse I know that likes to start out of the crouch. 6 3.

The Tortoise and NASCAR.

Race Horses See Big People.

"It's only a 2-k race, but in the 10 years we've sponsored it, nobody's ever finished."

'Ere Bert, what do I do with a lady who wants an each way bet on the boat race?'

'I hear the meeting was cancelled last Saturday.' - 'Yeah. Someone drugged the hare.'

'It happens to a lot of runners at this stage of the marathon, George. It;s called 'hitting the wall'...'

Hurdles with Steps

"I can't believe we forgot to pack the car."

'Miss Wayson, find out who put this computer on my desk and tell them to get it the hell out of here!'

'Ha! Fake out!'

The Epsom Derby - Beer Stall

Jed was a serious gamer...so on race days, he would always dress for speed!!

'Remind me again darling - what were we just arguing about?'

'When I'm in the saddle I'm part of the horse.' - 'Yes, but which part?'

-Yipee! He's well out in front! -You do realize they're only going down to the start!

Formula One eco helmet

Before becoming the legend that he is today, Nostradamus first enjoyed a pretty good living at the tracks.

"I'm psyched!"