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Baldo fantasizes the Boys Department becomes the Men's Department after his first kiss with Smiley.

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'Big audio gear is coming back!'

'This is the only part of my old Army uniform that still fits.'

"Remember that time you tried to kill me?"

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

"Don’t worry, this guy is totally cool. Just don’t mention the Red Baron."

"Honey! Where are my lucky Incredible Hulk board meeting socks?!?"

'How do you like my two-tone car?'

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

"Remember when we used to wonder if there other beings somewhere out there?"

"10th Anniversary Woodstock Reunion'

"We're airship people, not mega-airship people."

'I think I'll stay in and try to catch up on my reading.'

"Desmond likes to live in the moment. . . and that moment happens to be 1960."

'It's one of these new phones that takes photographs.'

Before the Internet

"Pardon me, Vito, but I'm holding the talking stick now."

"Hipsters"

Gramophone dreams of mp3 player.

"I remember him before he was getting hte winter fuel allowance."

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

Hay Rides $10

"I made you a mixtape."

'Bring out yer books!'

That midnight hour when fleeting memories come home to roost.

Teddy bear with a red balloon.

"Bleeeee! It's plastic."