Non-conformist Humorist T-Shirts

"I need everybody to come down to the garden to cheer on the tomatoes."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

UK/US Free Trade Deal

They're Not Just That Into It

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Apples for sale

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

No-Work Orange

"Gee, thanks pal."

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

Vlad the Impala

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

Trump! The Musical

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

Mount Olympus Brewery. Those might be dangerous to open. They're Pandora's Bocks.

"There's only one 'L' in colosseum."

'We might make more progress if we try working as a team.'

"We're having one heck of a time building that trapezoidal thing of yours..."

"I'd say this pair of sixes beats your hand."

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."

I've Always Wanted to Be Oppressed By Someone Who Looks Like Me

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

"...You talking to me? Well, I'm the only one here... You talking to me?!" "Narcissus De Niro"

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

"When are they going to change the 'feature'?"

'He's downgrading the credit agencies.'

'The wheel was easy, the owner's manual is hard!'