Nomadic Storyteller T-Shirts

No crawling sign in the desert.

'What zip code are we in now?'

'Hold on, I'll get the camera.'

Cash Machines From Across the Land

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

'It's worse than we thought: You've got termites.'

Silhouette hawk swooping down to catch a silhouette rabbit.

Airplane food

'Mom! Do they have traffic lights and stop signs in the sky?'

"We've intended to ask you about it for some time, Doctor, but never got around to it."

Face it, Bob, we're lost. Welcome to Faceitbobwe'relost pop. 2.

Lion to safari man: 'I'm the king of the jungle and these are my official spokesmen.'

"During our vacation my wife and I went to Paris while our suitcases went to Rome and Athens."

"Hi Mom...do you remember in which grade I was given an award for my excellent performance of the song about little ducks?"

"This house has been in my family for a considerable period of time."

"Well, I deal with death and carrion every day: Laughing is a therapeutic way of avoiding depression..."

'I must admit, this family reunion hasn't really lived up to my expectations.'

'My husband, Bill, works at the airport - I still haven't opened my birthday presents from three years ago.'

Every time I get a postcard from your brother, I regret that I carved him out of driftwood.

Old cold warriors home: 'By god, I'll tell you who was soft on communism. . .'

'Humph! When I was your age, I had to do my homework in front of a black and white.'

Old Man Journal

"This next song is about a trip to Vermont. It's called 'This is the whitest state I've ever seen—wow!'"

Early detection was rarely helpful.

Man around campfire Title: 'Ed is a fisherman who never lies. He tells all his stories sitting up.'

"Excuse me... I think you're in my seat."

"Police dramas just aren't what they used to be."

"Who wants to go first?"

'Are we broke yet?'

Man skated through airport with rollers on pull bag.

"Flight time is approximately 3 seconds and - I won't lie to you folks - it's a bit choppy up there."

"My landing gear won't come down. I have a cramp."

'I got them to agree to a small settlement.'

'...so then I said 'your camera is stealing my soul' and he said 'I'm so sorry - how can I possibly repay you?''