Nighttime Snack Lover T-Shirts

"It's just - this McDonald's closes at midnight."

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

Super Heroes.

Love is when you watch television together.

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

"With the prices they charge these days I can't afford to throw a pie or can off beer at the ref."

"There are no croutons. I use tater tots on my salad."

"Sometimes, Cheryl, I wonder why you only invite me along to cocktail parties."

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

"The bagels are better in New York."

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

"Wait, has thou brought snacks?"

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

'We have a P-O-P display for our new perfume. Can we move the beef jerky down a smidge?'

'If it's a universal remote, how come it doesn't work on the refrigerator?'

'Kudos to Bill for the cotton candy machine idea!'

The feeding frenzy has begun, gorging ourselves on bowl after bowl of college football.

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

Stupid Microwave

'Him' Watching the Game to Relax

'Half o' mild and a bag of pork scratchings - you're grooming me, aren't you?'

North Fork, the town too tough to diet.

'At midnight, we go over the wall.'

'I just got the medium popcorn this time.'

Cookie Surveillance

You are what you eat (Nuts).

'It's a good source of calcium and contains plenty of flabonoids.'

Empty Calories Vending Machine.

Cold drinks, candy and corporate buyouts.