Nighttime Rituals Mugs

'Just checking that I've turned off the lights, dear!'

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

Late night teddy reading

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

"Amen. . . void where prohibited by law."

Sleepwalker on treadmill

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

"Good evening, Susan. We've decided it's time you get your own bed."

"... And bless my dog, Penny, whose licks give me the strength to carry on."

"Don't pretend you're sleeping."

'It wouldn't hurt to say a few words.'

'I'm a perfect little angel while I'm asleep. It's being awake that causes me trouble.'

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

Bedtime story.

Father nursing his sick child

A.S.A.P.'s Fables

"Let's go to sleep so that when we wake up today will be tomorrow."

"This bedtime story is brought to you by your good friends at the toy shop."

"...and thank you for sending my guardian angel to protect me from that truck today..."

"This is all I have time for now, dear...the knight slays the dragon and marries the princess. For more detail go to www.fairytale.net."

"I love wearing a sleeper. It's like I can walk around tucked in."

"Hello moon, the sun sends his regards."

"Would you mind getting me the Ambien, the Tiger Balm, three cookies, a cup of tea and a pillow for my legs?"

Bat

A couple lie in bed

"Oh, great. The bunny runs away and lives high on the hog on my tax dollars. Next!"

'That's all for tonight, God. Stay tuned.'

Father reading a bedtime story to his daughter.

'All right. I'll get forty winks, but not one wink more.'

"I have made some notes about last night's story, that I would like you to clarify."

Skating by torchlight on the Serpentine.

"His nose grew every time he lied? That must've taken all the fun out of fishing."

"Stop fact checking my story."