Nighttime Noodle Noodler Gifts

Counting ribs

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

Some days, we all just feel like a little take-out lo mein.

Questions

Al's Diner. Special: Spaghetti. All You Can Eat $3.95. Ernie, don't play with your food unless you're sure you can win.

"Yes, in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight, but he snores!"

''Romantic'? No -- but it makes me feel like having a CROISSANT!'

"Do you want the last piece, or can I have it?"

Dog Chow Mein

Way too much anthropomorphising

'I knew I needed help when I started going to fast food places only at night so I wouldn't have to share with sea gulls.'

Year of the Rat

The downside of the cupcake bed.

"It's just - this McDonald's closes at midnight."

Bedside Manna.

'This fridge is fitted with CCTV.'

"People are inherently complicated, and if you eat it late enough at night, cereal can be dinner and breakfast!"

'I woke up in February, and couldn't get back to sleep, so I got up, killed and ate a moose.'

Soup

"Congratulations! For checking the fridge 30 times in under an hour, you've won something that you actually want to eat!"

Scarecrow.

Before we begin tonight's dream, a word from our sponsor...

Noodle exchange program.

'Now where did I put my knitting needles?'

'You were up four times last night.'

Mozart eating noodles with chopsticks

Al, do you ever go back in time and try to pinpoint moments when you made bad life choices? Actually, after an episode of gastric distress this morning, I journeyed back in time to last night. I pinpointed midnight as the moment, and I pinpointed pizza as a bad life choice.

"Late night snack? No, I...I was just checking expiration dates, dear!"

'I'll have what he's having.'

We're never going to lose weight if we don't get rid of the fridge light.

"I was just... uh... looking for the low-fat yogurt."

Diet Enforcer

"You're home, dear. We don't have room service."

A vampire lays in his coffin and he has put his vampire dentures in a glass beside the coffin.

"Relax! The poor thing is only taking a breather on his way south!"