Nightlife Commentator T-Shirts

'I see you've dressed to go clubbing.'

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

I could have danced all night!

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

'No standing while room is in motion.'

"I just realized you're my entire entourage."

"Don't wait up. I'll be working late again tonight."

"Death Star? Is that in the Valley?"

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

Yet another law of the jungle: 'Absolutely NO howling at the moon after 11 PM!

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

Sally woke up with a headache. This house didn't look familiar. There was a rug burn on her forehead. Three good reasons to quit drinking.

Joe's 'Talent-Optional' Karaoke Bar

The Classy Dog: 'Dine & dance hotdogs: '50 cents a dance'.

Bryan Ferry

"Spoiler alert! I'm about to tell you the part that really bugged me about 'Wolverine.'" "You don't have to say 'spoiler alert,' minion. It's been a month." "Anyone who hasn't seen it yet has not fulfilled their role as a dutiful consumer, and deserves whatever spoilage they will receive." "In fact, let me know who they are and I'll enter them into my database. When the corporatist revolution comes, there will be consequences." "Um... never mind."

The Snooze Bar.

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

"You know what they say, time flies when you're having rum!"

Dancing at the Clubs.

"If it's a series of patterned clicks, I'm not here."

"Another round of banana daiquiris for the lovely lady and I, please!"

Bar: Now serving 24 hours - 'I want to get as wasted as you look.'

'The bigger they are... The harder they hit!'

'You deserve some unabashed fun once in a while.'

'This is your idea of hitting the local hotspots?'

'Fried chickens.'

Dance.

'Has Oprah ever been married?'

'Okay then, what's the price break on TWENTY drinks?'

"All the good ones are either married, gay or Viggo Mortensen."

Clubbing

"I like New York, but I miss sleeping drunk on my front lawn."

"Look out, Luke Grasswalker! Irascibility leads to the dark side of the force. . . right into a hamburger bun."

"Why so grim, handsome?"