Nightclub Security Prints

What makes you think you'd make a good bouncer?

Jazz quartet, piano, bass, sax and drums

"Don't wait up. I'll be working late again tonight."

'The bigger they are... The harder they hit!'

Dance.

"The club scene is really changing."

The Stripper

'Mmm … and he's ringing wet too. I just can't resist the smell of a wet dog.'

"The next song is for all you unreconstructed commies, who are still in love with their tractors."

Shake it like a Polaroid picture...

Burlyesque

"Do you mind?"

Club insecurity.

Dance Dance Dance.

'That guy is SO tacky.'

Early Night Club

'When you're swimming at night and something gives you a bite, it's a Moray! You think it's a seal but it's really an eel, it's a Moray!'

Rooster DJ scratches records during party.

'I heard you got a job at that new club. It must be great."

'For the last time, how Club Tropicana makes a profit if the drinks are free isn't your problem.'

"Would you like to dance?"

Bouncer.

"Now don't let your concentration move from my hands and the cards. . ."

"I've been dying to hit the dance floor in a crowded nightclub."

'Over on stage number two is the lovely, succulent, Misty Flatulence!'

What makes you think you'd make a good bouncer? My enthusiasm...I'm prepared to give anything a bash!

Math Lounge

'Eughh! I've trodden in some celebrity's dog.'

'Actually, I'm not looking for a bouncer. I'm looking for somebody to throw customers in.'

'He's here to apply for the bouncer job.'

"Sure her act is legal in a nightclub - but she was doing it in the street."

"Statistically speaking, there's got to be at least one woman in there who's looking for the awkward sensitive type."

'Ok Fellas let's see some I.D.'

'Watch out -she goes for anything in trousers.'