Night Owl Turned Homebody Pillows

'I used to love going on the prowl at night too, but these days, I'm asleep by sundown...'

"I'd like to get my hands on whoever coined the phrase 'sleeps like a baby'."

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

"I've diligently spent the last eight hours saving an entire colony of elves from a pack of vicious dragons and your only concern is that it is 2 am?"

"In closing, I'd just like to say you've been a great crowd, folks. Don't forget to tip your waitress, and I hope this final number breaks your heart the way show business broke mine."

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

The 6 A.M. News Team

"Sleep? Who needs sleep? It's time to PARTAY!"

"I'll tell you the same thing everybody's telling Donald Trump - stop your damn tweeting!"

"You should not be here so late...take the work home with you."

Bob hated working over-time.

"When I'm not in school, I have trouble sleeping."

Adult Education Center - Kids Learn Free

'I'm thirsty!'

Nethead strip: Sale.com

"Honey, you're sleepworking again."

Turn on the news. I will not comply. My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you will grow depressed after the lead story. There is a 95% probability you will then gorge yourself on Rocky Road ice cream and then stay up all night googling elliptical machines and diet pills. Who told you this? Both your refrigerator and your browser are gossipy.

You're too late. Someone else already seized the day.

Welcome Student Ministers: 'I hardly slept last night, with all the Bible thumping!'

'I can't believe I phoned my ex at 4 in the morning and go the wrong number. Still, if I look on the upside...it's lucky I didn't get the right number.'

"See you in the morning."

'Boy! Those 911 operators sure get snooty when you call at 4 a.m. and ask them to translate the words to Frere Jacques.'

'Sir, aren't you missing another workaholics anonymous meeting tonight?'

"I'm going to bed, I have an early tee time tomorrow."

'My life is worse than yours' (24 hour pet supplies)

"Honey wake up, I realized there were more plot holes in that movie we saw that I forgot to point out."

I stayed up late last night, then got up early, but I had to take several naps today

The stench of corporate corruption grew worse each day. And every night Earl did hid best to clean it up.

"He's gone home for the night. Is it squeegee-related?"

Bloggs and co Builders apologise for any convenience caused

Winter Mornings

"Last time I burned the midnight oil it triggered the fire alarm."

"Let me know when we're getting near twenty-one dollars."

'Not taken a vocational night class before, then?'

Clubbing for Adults