Nfl Season Opener Pillows

Sadie, you've got a lot of nerve making light of all the concussions suffered by football players. Stow it, meathead. By the way, I heard Eli Manning got a concussion last season. What? What?! Eli? My Honeybunch? He of the NFL's greatest rear?! I won't have it. The league must reform! Awesome. I still have to brain power to tell a provocative lie. Get it together, NFL or face my wrath!

Bowled over again!

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

Perils of the double play.

'Wait!... I don't want to take Brady out right now. He's just getting into rhythm.'

"Winning isn't everything, Josh. Not being the reason your team loses is everything."

Kenny Dalglish

Good luck tonight, xoxo, Coach.

'Let me guess...you're a knights supporter?'

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

I like what I'm seein' out there. This could be our year Wikowski.

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

Input From The Front Office

The feeding frenzy has begun, gorging ourselves on bowl after bowl of college football.

Man transplants plant in his garden.

'Champions league'

"And the way you kids kick ass today will speak volumes about the leaders of tomorrow you will be."

'You can't beat the excitement of a new county season.'

"When you put on the uniform, you surrender a part of yourself."

Get back in that locker room! Go on - scat! ... Anyone else forget to wash his hands?'

Jocko, a man for all sports' seasons.

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

"Whaddaya say we head home and curl up in front of a nice warm football game?"

"Wait! Stop! He changed his mind."

What is it with football and this drinking culture?

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

... And by the end of the first quarter of the game, the famous 'Man Cave' was completely deserted.

Football is like investing. It's good to have a diversified portfolio. A team should use a balanced mix of run plays and pass plays. And sometimes the quarterback is smart to accept a sack rather than trying something too risky. Right. Take the small loss and move on. A defensive player getting a finger on a pass can have a big impact. In both football and investing a tip can be a real game changer. But some things are different. Football has nothing like a T-Bill. There are no guarant

No Time-Outs Left. Please Help.

'The score is tied and we've only got a 20-second timeout, so we've gotta be quick. ... I'm 'X'. Who wants to be 'O'?'

'That's a personal foul, roughing the passer!'