Newspaper Headline Collector Prints

Tony Blair: 'Everything's going PR shaped.'

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

Breaking News: Earth Crosses Multiple Lanes, Crashes into Sun... Distracted Orbiting to Blame.

"Mom, I'm bored. Do you know something I can get hysterical and panicky about?"

"It's me. I'm calling in sick of it."

"The car is in the garage, but I had to drive over the lawnmower."

Reading the sports pages.

Rhinoceros Is Most Intelligent Ungulate

Newspaper suicide.

You know how Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are known as "Kimye," and Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are known as "Branjelina"? I think we should combine "Lance" and "Gloria" into either "Lania" or "Glance." What do you think? I think I won't be needing a menu now, as I'll be busy gagging.

'Yes, they were using it to clean up the graffiti!'

"This is no time for fightin', princess, there's a war on!"

"Well, I think we come back as newspapers." "You're nuts."

Cleaner dusting under man's toupee.

'I suppose that's where things get ironed out.'

News for Sale

Cameron uncomfortable hanging out with his inquisitor.

"And what self respecting tabloid do you think is going to buy photos of Little Foot?"

Bird in a chair with a human in a cage.

The Expert

Big Newspaper Delivery

"We live in interesting times. Present company exempted, of course."

'How fast can you hype?'

'No, I am not finished with the comics section, now give me back my glasses!'

"And remember, people, it's better to light a scandal than to curse the darkness!"

'You were convicted by the jury, but at least you were acquitted by the media.'

"Percy Shattock, Page Three Girls...1979 to 1986."

"This is the way I like it - I pretend to be asleep and he doesn't bother me."

"Things happen so fast. What's news when class starts is history when it ends."

'You fancy yourself as a press baron, don't you?'

Science Journal. Editor. Ernie, we need a headline that will interest the general public in our artificial supernovas. "Big stars involved in nasty breakups"! (Published originally on March 2, 2009.)

"Yes, we still love print, don't we?"