Newspaper Fanatic T-Shirts

"You' re not listening to a word I'm saying, are you?"

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

"Why don't you ever fetch anything good like a pizza?"

"I did the math. If we want to read all of Proust in this lifetime, we have to start tomorrow morning."

'Amount of white out used while writing, Moby Dick, an issue of The National Enquirer, and 101 Uses for a Dead Cat.'

Jim Carrey,

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

Nervous World Markets.

"Just when I think things couldn’t get any worse, they replace The Lockhorns with Doonesbury!"

"Are those my slippers?!"

"Yes, we still love print, don't we?"

Political Debate, 'I'd like a word with the debate chairman.'

"We interrupt C.B.S.'s evening news with a special bulletin from N.B.C.!"

Sunday.

"Thar be an Hallowe'easter a blowin'."

H L Mencken.

'You're beat. Maybe you need to wake up to a better morning news team.'

'you just don't get the idea of being a watchdog, do you?'

'Normally I don't like a newspaper because of its pictures.'

"According to the Times, the cartoonist drew my right hand wrong."

'Your polar ice cap is melting.'

"It took me a long time to teach him how to fetch a newspaper."

"He passed out from apoplectic rage directed at Trump's voter fraud conspiracies."

"Rapunzel? Rapunzel moved out years ago. I'm Bruce, and I have a stack of old newspaper clippings I'd like to show you."

"Reading the Sunday Funnies 'religiously' does not count as worship."

'Grandpa isn't very child-friendly, is he?'

"President Gorbachev had his hands full again today."

Mole News: Obituaries

"Can't you forget about the FT for once?"

The Panic Forecast

'How long has what been going on?'

'Look. I fetch it - I get to read it first.'

"When I say the 'gray lady' I mean your mother, not the New York Times."

"I just wish I hadn't spent most of my life reading the comments below online news articles"

Squeeze on Public Spending.