Newspaper Fanatic T-Shirts

"You' re not listening to a word I'm saying, are you?"

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

"Why don't you ever fetch anything good like a pizza?"

"I did the math. If we want to read all of Proust in this lifetime, we have to start tomorrow morning."

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

Nervous World Markets.

"Are those my slippers?!"

"Just when I think things couldn’t get any worse, they replace The Lockhorns with Doonesbury!"

"Yes, we still love print, don't we?"

Political Debate, 'I'd like a word with the debate chairman.'

"Thar be an Hallowe'easter a blowin'."

"We interrupt C.B.S.'s evening news with a special bulletin from N.B.C.!"

Sunday.

'You're beat. Maybe you need to wake up to a better morning news team.'

'you just don't get the idea of being a watchdog, do you?'

'Normally I don't like a newspaper because of its pictures.'

"President Gorbachev had his hands full again today."

"Reading the Sunday Funnies 'religiously' does not count as worship."

"He passed out from apoplectic rage directed at Trump's voter fraud conspiracies."

"According to the Times, the cartoonist drew my right hand wrong."

'Your polar ice cap is melting.'

"It took me a long time to teach him how to fetch a newspaper."

"Rapunzel? Rapunzel moved out years ago. I'm Bruce, and I have a stack of old newspaper clippings I'd like to show you."

'Grandpa isn't very child-friendly, is he?'

Mole News: Obituaries

"Can't you forget about the FT for once?"

The Panic Forecast

'How long has what been going on?'

'Look. I fetch it - I get to read it first.'

'Gladys, I don't think you should let Buster fetch the paper anymore.'

'Dave, why did we marry?' 'You wanted part of the paper.'

Squeeze on Public Spending.