Newspaper Detective Prints

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It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

'I asked Will if he wrote it. He said he wasn't sure.'

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

'It's some more story ideas from Francis Bacon.'

"It's me. I'm calling in sick of it."

"The car is in the garage, but I had to drive over the lawnmower."

Reading the sports pages.

Rhinoceros Is Most Intelligent Ungulate

"Well, I think we come back as newspapers." "You're nuts."

"Your appendix is fine. It's your glossary I'm worried about."

Cleaner dusting under man's toupee.

'Oddly enough you're the third person to buy that today!'

The evidence destroyed

Bird in a chair with a human in a cage.

Virginia could tolerate the Woolf whistles no longer

BREAKING FAKE NEWS

"Some idiot spread the rumour that the boss had called in sick! Now look what's happened to the tobacco and coffee stocks!"

"Yes dear, I know lots of people have a second honeymoon. But we only got back from our first one last week."

'There's really no need for confusion. Part 95 of section 33 of Article L in the contract clearly states ...'

'No, I am not finished with the comics section, now give me back my glasses!'

Bibliomaniac

RIP William Shakespeare: To be or not to be...

"It's a 12 inch chess board - the game's a foot."

Cop gives ASBO to cockerel: 'This of this as a cock-a-doodle-don't.'

"This is the way I like it - I pretend to be asleep and he doesn't bother me."

"Just when I think things couldn’t get any worse, they replace The Lockhorns with Doonesbury!"

"I have always depended on the content of strangers."

Mysteries.

"Have you consider the possibility that I don't want the paper?"