News Junky T-Shirts

"Finland just closed its borders." "No one will be crossing the finish line."

Trial by Media

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated.

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

Schengen

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

Trump Administration Raising White Flag in Ukraine

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

Who will determine Venezuela's future?

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

Squeezing the Free Press.

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

Build your very own conflict of interest!

Torturing the English Language

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

Trump pardons

"What I do is pick up the morning paper, go through it carefully, and then, depending on how I feel about things, I either say the Pledge of Allegiance, stand there and do nothing, or walk out of the classroom."

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

"Who's got the hammer?"

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

"Away with the warmonger!"

National Everything Awareness Day

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

Ahem. I'm eating. Not now, please. Just one tiny question. Believers I American exceptionalism have always said we're the paragon of democracy. So I'm just wondering … How come one party is passing unnecessary laws that'll keep millions of us from voting? They're robbing us of our voice! Could've surprised me.

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

The economy.

Donald Trump Removing Aggressor Label From Vladimir Putin

"See..? We told you there was nothing there..."

BBC - Crisis Management, Damage Control and Liability Supervision.

Difference of Opinion