News Junkie Prints

"Alexa, what fresh hell are we in for today?"

Difference of Opinion

Misinformation Pandemic

"Today, stocks dropped on news the new federal reserve chief, Janet Yellen, is a 'rookie'."

"Nation-wise, we're in a pickle."

"We mapped out the Trump motorcade route to the White House."

House Intelligence Committee

Private Eye Editor Ian Hislop

Lukashenko visited Putin in Sochi

"You've increased your prices again! Why?" "Take your pick..."

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

"I'm sorry, Jeannie, your answer was correct, but Kevin shouted his incorrect answer over yours, so he gets the points."

'I don't understand your question. Could you restate it as an answer?'

Strictly off the record.

"That was Brad with the Democratic weather. Now here's Tammy with the Republican weather."

'By the way, is this off the record?'

'We don't have the answer, but we're really getting off on the attention.'

'Hey, that line's moving a lot faster!'

'A World energy crisis is looming' "I blame the billions in the 3rd world wanting to get what we've got!"

The News Cycle

Gettysburg Address, "Now can we have it as a sound bite ?"

Newspaper headlines - Butters kills, Margarine kills.

'Do you want to be manipulated by the left wing media or the right wing media?'

Man with megaphone lobbying parliament.

Phoney world view

"Remember how I said I was happiest when we had nothing?"

'The government announced that to reduce the budget deficit, it will move the decimal two points to the left.'

'Experts today predicted natural disasters so devastating that only the rich and powerful will survive...'

'When you take out food, energy...inflation remained at a 20 year low.'

'We do want to warn you that this news has yet to be spun, so you may have to formulate your own opinion.'

"We hope you've enjoyed the year in review!"

'Responding to viewer sentiment, we have eliminated world news and expanded our entertainment and sports news.'

'That was close! I almost answered a question I was asked.'

"No comment."

'Oh my God! Brace yourselves! . . . Wait - this just in: everything's fine. . . for now'