News Deconstructionist T-Shirts

Australia. I wonder if political spokesmen in the southern hemisphere spin the news in the opposite direction.

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

"The news is so fake, the ads are beginning to look honest."

'If I've learned anything, it's believe half of what's in the newspapers, and even less of what's in your e-mail.'

"He really hates all the fake news!!"

"Our intelligencia said we will be outnumbered 100 to one, but that we can hope it's only fake news."

"If the headline screams catastrophe, but nobody cares to read it, does it still make a sound?"

"As you can see here - slow the tape, guys - these sparks are coming awfully close to the truck's gas tank, an explosive situation indeed..." Every high speed chase needs a color man.

Armstrong, an unmarked truck just delivered a pallet of mystery meat. Turkey. It doesn't look like turkey. It looks more like some sort of dehydrated pigeon. What's it matter? If we slap it in a sandwich, smother it in "gravy," and label it "turkey," customers won't know the difference. Wait, did you just think quotes around the word gravy? "no."

Filmed in Supermarionation

Dear Sadie, How come there never seems to be any penality for pundits who turn out to be wrong all the time?

Incredible

Superstition City

Russian war crimes

Fake News for Fake People

"Since I no longer trust the media. I get all my news from hysterical people on the street."

'It says here that most people believe what they read in the papers.'

"I've been expecting this...FAKE WEATHER!"

"I'm actually looking forward to age-related hearing loss."

'The market fell today because it needed to fail before it could succeed.'

Lies on the Internet

I Can't Believe It's Not Fake News

Rudy, be reasonable. We can't have a functioning media if everyone starts putting up their own stories on the web. We need professional ethics. We need editing. We need fact-checking. We need

Turn on the news. I will not comply. My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you will grow depressed after the lead story. There is a 95% probability you will then gorge yourself on Rocky Road ice cream and then stay up all night googling elliptical machines and diet pills. Who told you this? Both your refrigerator and your browser are gossipy.

The Good News, the Media Nothwithstanding

"What? You were expecting good news? Expectations are so-o-o-o passe."

'Why don't you change it to sports or cartoons or something? -- You know CNN just depresses you.'

"I hope they're not fake commandments!"

"Elvis battles Alien, Britney weds Satan. Man, who reads this garbage?"

'I went in to get my mortgage renewed. I said: 'Make it for eight months and four days!'. . . Am I only the one who thinks the world ends in December?'

We interrupt this breaking news to bring you breaking news! About half an hour ago, we interrupted "The Price Is Right" to bring you breaking news. An elderly "Price Is Right" fan emerged out of nowhere and began pummeling our news van with rotten eggs. Our newscopter is bringing us video of the lady chasing our van. What is that she's driving, Chuck? I believe that's a Rascal Scooter, Ted.

"That's it for the climate news, now here's Cindy with the climate of fear report."

'WARNING!!! Watching today's news may cause hallucinations and the distorting of the truth.'

"Listen to this Mr Doom 'n' gloom! The recession's over!"