News Cycle Navigator T-Shirts

"O.K., but what I'm about to tell you does not leave this news cycle."

Fear of news.

"Thank goodness Edwin got a paper route to help pay for prescriptions not covered by Medicare."

"Looks like he's coming around to our way of thinking."

"… Breaking news out of North Korea—spoiler alert, it's not good."

Sir, what came first...the spin and leak or the leak and spin?

"The doctor says to stay in bed, drink plenty of fluids, and take only small doses of Trump."

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

Wall Street Couch

Slipping and sliding down the slope...

'This one is for keeping 'On Message' in the spin wars.'

Newspaper suicide.

'I'm in the den, mom, reading the newspaper for my social studies class.'

"I'm not spinning - I'm contextualizing."

Economic Downturns

'This is our Greek debt, this is our Spanish debt, and this is our Portuguese debt...'

"According to my phone, society is on the brink of collapse, but, according to our living room, things seem pretty O.K."

Fake News - Tabloid News - State-run News - Free Press

'Our company has hit an icebery and is sinking fast. Of course, it's all very symbolic.'

Who's In Charge Here?

I'm in the den mom, reading the newspaper for social studies class.

Capitalism.

'Yes, Dear, they are very pretty shoes!'

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Ruble in Trouble

The Covid Tail

"Get me someone in Apologies, someone in Walkbacks, and send up the whole Scapegoating team."

Trump and Erdoğan

'Forget about 'who,what,when,where,why,how'...Instead 'Will it sell papers...attract advertisers?'

'We don't have a mission statement. We have a survival plan.'

"Ouch!... That hand sanitiser is a bit feisty..."

When you are most likely to be stabbed in the back

Man reading on top of giant pencil being carried by others.

"It's official, Michael has filed for moral bankruptcy."

"You know our 'Never-Overwhelm-The-Reader' policy. Your story is irrelevant, trivial and stupid but not irrelevant, trivial and stupid enough."