
Number of Overdoses in U.S. Continues to Incease
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Number of Overdoses in U.S. Continues to Incease
Trial by Media
'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'
Torturing the English Language
Breaking News: Earth Crosses Multiple Lanes, Crashes into Sun... Distracted Orbiting to Blame.
"The president says there isn't a flood. What's the harm in humoring him?" "Hey! Would somebody pull Lindsey up for air?"
Netanyahu versus Gantz
2020 Republican Party National Convention
"Bad news on Wall Street today, as the bottom fell out of the market, the sides collapsed, and the top blew away."
It's 10 P.M. does anyone know what 'sequestration' means?
'Since PRISM, nothing is 'off the record' any more.'
The End of Trump?
Who's In Charge Here?
'Obama's letting all the progress we made in Iraq go right down the drain...He's trying to distract everybody...'
"Hundreds jailed, many hurt as police in riot gear use tear gas and pepper spray to break up large number of protesters..."
News and Magazines. Record Debt. Dollar Down. How can the dollar be weak when we've been giving it such a good workout?
"Sooner or later you just knew it had to come to this. . ."
Farmer reads newspaper headline 'Drought Hits Midwest'; sees sand dunes and camel caravan through window.
LIBERAL MEDIA POLLS, 'Do you think President Obama is doing a great job, a wonderful job, or an absolutely terrific job?'
"Social service teams are claiming that they can't recruit workers because of the vicious, biased reports we write about them!"
Violence in Mexico
Election Cancelling Headphones
These remarks are completely off the record
George Will
"Whack him. And if you can't whack him, redact him."
"I will be reading a prepared statement, but I don't know who prepared it, so don't blame me!"
'Reed oil aboot tit!'
Will Israel's democracy survive this?
When you are most likely to be stabbed in the back
"That's a very good question, which is why we're going to move on to the next question."
"Caution, it's April Fools Day. . . Some comedian may or may not have put a true story in between the fake news!"
Setting fire to the US flag
'...And our extended forecast calls for one #!@*!! thing after another.'
The Times - Plate I.
Actually, Forced Child Separations Are All-American
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