Newlywed Nostalgia Pillows

I know it was the biggest moment in your life, but honey - our wedding was six months ago.

"Dammit, Pooh - don't let the heffalumps win!"

"I don't know about you, but I'm ready to take this marriage full-throttle."

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

"I can't wait to introduce you to all the people I used to be friends with, before I started spending all my time with you."

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

'Seriously!? ... Well it's apparent I didn't marry a handyman.'

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies!'

'Take my advice kid. Enjoy yourself now, because once you get married, your free ranging days are over.'

"Isn't us talking about how I would never take a ballroom dancing class an activity we're doing together?"

'It doesn't take much to please him these days.'

"Maybe I'm not the best choice to ask if your silly wife cartoons are funny!"

"Well, who's stupid idea was it to honeymoon on Moonlight bay?!"

"We're playing doctor and I need 50 cents for my co-pay."

Fat Kid 14- Gets re-animated

'Want to swap imaginary playmates?'

'You should have seen the one that got away!'

Cheap amusement with... THE HAPPY COUPLE!

'Mummy, Daddy, this is Dylan. Dylan's ambition is to make conkers a recognized Olympic sport.'

Fade to black...

The Music Box

"Ok, I get it, you're happy and you know it. Now quit clapping."

...If sauce has not begun to thicken after 10 minutes, pour contents back into can and wait for your wife to get home.

'And here on our left you see the sugary cereal aisle...a real crowd pleaser!'

"Does it say 'I'm ovulating'?"

'Oh, you nasty sluggard!'

'It must be love if your sneakers melted!'

Creepy Camp Stories.

'My favorites are the ones dad tells when he gets home late.'

"I'm in real trouble this time -- I broke the house!"

'My wife likes it when I help out in the kitchen.'

'You were right, Mum - he only wants me for one thing!'

"You can count on my unloading the dishwasher in any number of alternate timelines. Now whether it occurs in this one..."

'Well if you wanted a garden shed made out of wood or brick, then you should have married one of my brothers!'

"Marriage and relationships?...That would be under 'Arts and Science'!"