Newly Unemployed T-Shirts

'Oh, I'm unemployed -- but it's not as exciting as it sounds.'

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"He's having a hard time finding work."

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

The Rubber Ball Company

"Sitting here with you each day at sunset reminds me I have to get a job."

"We're all in the same boat, except it's more like a life raft than an actual boat."

'You must be the only 'Jack-of-all-trades' who is out of work in all of them!'

"I just need help getting started. A little seed money."

'Can't stand diary products myself, but a job's a job.'

"Todd was glad he had a support animal."

"Victims of out-sorcery."

Dolestart - A New Initiative

'The good news is that from now on I belong to a very rare species. There aren't many personnel managers who create their own pink slip.'

"Have a seat with the other candidates for the tech position but be wary of the spit balls."

He kept pretending he was going to work when he was just running errands.

'So far more education hasn't helped me get a job. I think I'll get some student loans and get some more education.'

'The good news is we're not laying you off. The bad news is we want you to take a 20-year lunch break without pay.'

'All of your references say you play well with others, but there's nothing in here about you actually doing any work.'

"We're not on vacation anymore. The company folded."

"Things are getting really bad around here. Phil, the office plant, was just let go."

"I'm sorry, Davis, but your face no longer fits."

'Frankly, we're looking for someone very much unlike you.'

'I saw on the job description it said, 'You'll do what I tell you to do and like it.' Could you be more specific?'

"Well, YOU tell personnel you need every winter off and see if you get a job!"

"I didn't get a job at the job fair, but I got a blue ribbon for best resume."

"That's classic J.R. . . .a little bit business, a little bit whimsy."

"Good: I see you're fluent in nonsense."

'Management is very concerned about 'work life' balance, particularly where back room staff are concerned...We think you give too much, you need to get your lives back.'

"I belong to that heroic little band of unemployed on whom a healthy economy depends."

"He used to be a senior fact checker at Meta — now he's just a pedant."

America's Biggest Export...

'Sorry Sir, but 'impersonating a log' is not a very marketable skill...'

"Even after all that's happened, I feel no less regal."