New Tech Gadget Gifts

'I just upgraded to high definition thoughts but there's still nothin' on ...'

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

"Now, I'm ready for summer."

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

'Not that net!'

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

Dog Walking Services

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

'Can our software do that?'

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

'We manufacture micro computing circuits. We're looking to hire someone who can anticipate the next small thing.'

Hiding the electronics.

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

"The article you sent me on how technology causes stress crashed my computer."

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

Crap from the future.

Early cyborg.

"I don't know what else we can do. He won't look up from the screen!"

"Invest in technology."

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

'It's one of these new phones that takes photographs.'

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.