New Parent T-Shirts

"She does this when she's tired."

"Let's play hide-and-I-read-my-book."

"The Icarus story is just that- a story."

"Honey, your head's through the armhole again."

"Gucci, Gucci, Gucci."

Roger Buffle Jr. supplies his father with yet another computer password.

"Congratulations, it's a Versace!"

'He's at that difficult age: 0 to 16.'

'The trick is to make it look as easy as possible while, underneath, you're paddling like hell.'

'What do you mean you're thirsty? You had a drink just last week.'

"Let me guess: Step two, add sand."

Baby's first words.

"So when do we go online?"

"I think it's time we started seeing other people"

'I believe we've located the cause of your back problem, Mrs. Kangaroo.'

"Oh, that poor thing."

'Look, I think she recognised you!'

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

Do you ever serve chocolate milk?

What do you want, the moon on a stick?

'Ah ah! That's what I thought! The DNA tests prove that he is in fact a Cuckoo chick...'

An over ambitious pushy parent reading a book about child development while ignoring her child's emotional needs.

Self-driving stroller

'Mom... he said dam again!'

Breastfeeding

"It's a dependent!"

"Maybe the unseen hand of the market will change the diaper."

"Mom, are we there yet?"

'Once upon a time...'

'I don't have time to read a book a month, what about a pamphlet club?'

"I never subscribed to Hobbes' state of nature theory until the night we left the kids without a sitter."

'Three little kids and their first words. Can you find out which one is the British kid?'

'I'm leaking from everything!'

'You know you're having a bad day when you put the dirty clothes to bed and the kids in the hamper.'

'You saved $.05 for using your own bag.'