New Parent Hilarity T-Shirts

'Oh Darling look. He's got your colour boogies!'

They Removed my Brain.

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

'Well, he definitely has his father's... Er... Eyes.'

'Wow! Your kid looks a lot like you!'

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

I know, it's so hard not to laugh every time that kid crawls by wearing just a poop bag.

Child Being Dirty in the Bath.

Cupid and stork ambush young couple.

'Congratulations Mr. Dumley, you have a lovely little thing...'

'BEEP! BEEP! Pregnant Lady Reversing!...'

"I can hardly wait for him to start leading a life of quiet desperation."

Baby reading 'To do list'.

"It was a difficult delivery."

'Oh wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

"This diaper makes my butt look big..."

Beware of teething baby.

Husband and Child in Pram

'This might be a good time to discuss a few grievances.'

A (P)ram.

'Mom, will the baby come with bundled software?'

A woman looks at greeting cards in a section entitled "New Pie".

"Oh, she's got her father's male hormones"

'Sandra, I think the baby needs his oil changed.'

'I don't believe it - At school all my teachers said I was an underachiever!'

I'm not saying she's a gifted child, but she did write her own birth announcement.

"I think our bundle of joy needs his mommy, dear!"

"Twins!...Who's the other father?"

'Mum's water have broken and she's called the doctor. I may be wrong but I'd be calling the plumber!!'

'That's my girl. The one in the white uniform.'

Baby Bat Mobile

Waaahhh. Please, Milo. Stop crying. Look, Milo. I'm making a funny face. Waah. I'm waving my arms in the air! Waah. I'm pouring burning coffee on my head. Waaah. Waaaaaaaahhh. Look at this dog. Isn't it disgusting and hairy wairy? Humiliating on every level. Giggle.

'Your son couldn't come. He sent his sister.'

Twins

'She'll open her eyes in a few days. I don't know about us.'