New Orleans Gifts

"I went with the flow and wound up in the French quarter."

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

Mardi Gras

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

"Bungle the flip! Bungle the flip!"

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

Mother Nature

"I said to myself, 'Maybe I can't change the world, but I can remodel my bathroom.' "

A DIY disaster.

"Please hold applause until end of dragon."

'Ha! Ha! The Wooin' O't!'

"But if you leave New Orleans, you'll be just another sandwich."

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

'I installed all the floor tiles by myself. I did it all by tile and error.'

"You know what they say, there's one born every minute!"

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

"...And this is the part where he veers off course from the YouTube tutorial."

Beginning Yarder.

'The dripping keeps me awake!'

'Cracked nipple? But I didn't even drop you.'

'The upside is that if the water gets high enough all your termites might drown.'

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

"Underwater Childbirth Ward."

"Dad! The bathroom pipes are clogged up!"

'Frank is into D.I.Y...'Destroy It Yourself'!'

"What should I wear to the living room today?"

'Ugh Not Again!'

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

Breastfeeding: Good Design Council

Kids really do make you view the world from a different perspective...I'm on the floor, behind the couch, under the bed...