New Job In Education Pillows

Shark to fish about school of fish: 'School of choice.'

"A culture of collaboration does not mean you can copy somebody else's answers."

'If 'v' is the number of qualified physics teachers, and 'c' is the number of unqualified science teachers, this factor reduces to zero.'

Hi, I work at the admissions office of the local university. If you could change the world in three days, what would you do?

A Puppet Named Juan

'Never mind inspiration. I need background material on atomic physics.'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

'From six to to eighteen, they're always at that age.'

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

"We're looking for that perfect blend of vision, ambition and ethical ambiguity."

How to deliver a successful presentation.

'What begins with 'E'? Well, 'Everything'!'

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

'OOO, I've thought of a new one! Two squiggles and a backwards G!'

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

Staff Yearbook

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

'Leadership training.'

'Good new. . . we're moving you to a bigger desk!'

'Since we downsized the board of directors profits are up 300 percent.'

'I'm grooming you for this position and giving you a makeover.'

"Well, so far I'm managing to stay above the fray."

'The trouble with education is everyone knows how to teach, but nobody knows how to learn.'

"The STEM program has many advantages: you can invent stuff, you can use great equipment...but let's talk about the great cafeteria food."

Startling!

"Must be the new philosophy teacher."

Smirking or Non-smirking

"I think I'm making progress. One of them asked a follow-up question today."

The Ideal Teacher.

"I circulate around the classroom to make sure the class runs smoothly. I need a pair of comfortable walking shoes."

"Take a few minutes to introduce yourself, Ms. Berry. Not that they don't already have you pegged."

'I'm giving you a bigger desk, so you can take more of my work.'

'Of course you're all for animal testing. You always get straight A's.'

The Best English Teacher in the World.

'You must be the new hire. Welcome aboard. Here's our prepackaged curriculum. If time permits, encourage critical thinking.'