New Job Acceptance Gifts

'I really should have paid more attention to the company's health care coverage options before I accepted a job here.'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

Where your mind & battle are los

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

Butterfly Woman

'Let's not go by the book.'

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

'How fast can you hype?'

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

Others will fight for you

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

'You wanna play another round?' 'Sure....tender, another round!'

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

"Helen brings home our second, third and fourth incomes."

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'Progress of a bookshelf'

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

Doug had trouble getting home at a decent hour.

'He got a raise but not enough to help him clear the fence.'

Outer Space Outsourcing

Work/Life Balance

'So...you THINK you have what it takes to be a scientist...?'

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."

Bo're'droom

Woman carries the world.