New Hobby Adoption Gifts

"He took up birdwatching during lockdown."

"I would like a tube of lemon yellow, cadmium red, cobalt blue, ivory, black, and zinc white, a sixteen-by-twenty canvas, a couple of brushes, and that book 'Painting in Oils'."

The Hobby Store

"He built his own airplane from a kit."

"River well stocked this year."

'I don't know what he gets up to in there, but it keeps him busy.' (Noises are recorded, man reads paper, has beer.)

"Is this the first time you've been fishing?"

"Our Rupert has swopped his gaming console for bagpipes...it gets us out of the house more often."

'Tommy is in the other room playing with the triangle we bought him in Bermuda.'

"Getting the hang of it?"

"Oh we're fine, my husbands just learning to cook during the quarantine."

'First of all, relax.'

'My first camera'

'Dude, you can go for that new diving gear if you want, but if you ask me, I think it's a trap.'

Model Building

Patey's in a band! He's so cool!

"We cancelled Netfix for this?"

"You do have your own way of enjoying the garden, don't you?"

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

"What do you mean, it's not an educational toy? I'd have to learn to ride it!"

I bake my own bread.

"Ooh, another unsuspecting victim."

'I don't actually want to learn so much that I become a wine buff - just a wine snob!'

She found baking helped enormously.

"You may not know this, but I've become quite the wine expert."

Pam collected ceramic pigs. Just one so far, but even that seemed like too many.

"Frankly, I don't really want him to improve: he scares the predators away..."

'Hello, please take care of my ship in a bottle.'

'Aside from your plastic canvas projects, what else have you been doing since you retired?'

'First time spear fishing, Son?'

'Women cook to feed the soul...men cook to feed the ego.'

"O.K., go long, and then go about a hundred feet to your left or your right - who knows?"

"My husband makes this wine."

'Actually I have just one bee at the moment...'

Mr Tom Noddy's First Day With the Hounds Pt. 2