New Hire T-Shirts

'Well, I suppose the kid has just joined the company...'

'I tell all of our new hires that all paper trails must end here in the shredder.'

"They might tell you that starting out down here is standard procedure, but it isn't."

"Welcome aboard, Mr. Ryker. For a while you'll be a little frog in a big pond, but we need little frogs."

Recovery: New Job, Day One

"You'll be fine, just act like you know what you're doing - that's what everyone else does."

"Everybody says this is an awesome company to work for once you get through the probationary period!"

'Sorry... I should've warned you. In our company, we're encouraged to color outside the lines!'

'Right now, I feel like I'm in the ugly moth stage of my new job!'

This is where you'll be working...don't worry if it's confusing.

'Our new employee will quickly adapt to our company culture'

"Your 30-day probation is over, Ken. You can come inside now!"

"Normally, we only issue one phone to new hires, but we're bringing you in at a busy time."

"Hope you like working here. You'll find this place runs like clockwork!"

"The boss fired, then rehired me at the lower benefits package for new hires!"

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

Where your mind & battle are los

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

Butterfly Woman

'Let's not go by the book.'

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

'How fast can you hype?'

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

Others will fight for you

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

'You wanna play another round?' 'Sure....tender, another round!'

"Helen brings home our second, third and fourth incomes."

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."