New Graduates Gifts

'Regarding the salary we're willing to offer you.. don't expect to get your four-years of college tuition back in one year.'

Big Bang Theory.

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

"Make a lot of money."

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

'I've already been recruited by one of the top fast-food chains in the country!'

Four Types of Test-Takers...

Good Luck!

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

'And what part of the formula don't you understand?'

Philosophy Department: You are here but why are you here?

"The teacher expects too much of me. She wants me to give it the old college try, and I'm only in grade school."

'Our goal is to stress di-versity while remaining a uni-versity.'

'I still want to be a cowboy.'

'You don't have to worry about my future any more -- I just downloaded an entire college education!'

'I'm afraid that the top investment banks are looking for more from job applicants than a 'Top Degree from the University of Hard Knocks'.'

'When they came up with a 'do your homework' app, then I'll know technology can really make life better.'

'I took a couple of years off after college to work on my smirk.'

'If you're not confused then you realy don't know what's going on... !'

'I chose my field on what would put the most impressive initials after my name.'

'I wasted a lot of time in graduate school to get this job.'

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

Rita's PhD defense wasn't going well."

Good Luck!

Pyramid (Drawn from memory) (Pretty accurate)

'The first exam was easy as ABC, but that one felt more like a D,E or F.'

'This course in philosophy is not designed to teach you how to make a living. I will be teaching you how to make a life.'

CHAUCER 411, 'Boy -- that guy spells worse than I do!'

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

Day one, post grad