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On the Set of the Mulberry Bush

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

Empty box of ideas

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

Working in the Hazard Zone!

The ghosts of Christmas yet to come.

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

The star hunters

"Say hello to my little friend."

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

Bright Idea

'Dad's bedtime story was decent, but the special effects were non-existent.'

Censors 'no' a good thing when they see it.

Candid Camera store.

"Gone with the wind with cats" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "Me neither, who cares—let's take a nap."

"I hurt a lot of people during my last twelve steps."

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

"I feel a great disturbance in The Force."

"I want you to know that emotion overrode reason."

'...And now, the film most criticized for eroding traditional family values, the nominees are...'

'Action!...Cut!...Right, everything else is CGI'

"I'm glad they want comedy... the budget is a joke."