New Dating Experiences T-Shirts

He sounds like a hunk, his profile says bulky and athletic

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

Today, proud and accomplished the career woman re-enters the dating world, ready at last to meet the man of her dreams. . .

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

"Two, please—one senior and one tootsie."

"I've appeared in Eastenders."

'May I recommend a dry white with the seafood dish.'

"I keep reading all these stories about virtual reality nookie."

"Don't make eye contact. Don't make eye contact. Don't...."

'Crabs, sharks, octopi...'

'I'm afraid we don't have any gentlemen on hand right now -- how about a good old boy?'

'Don't be too sad. Sure, she was special, but there are plenty more fish in the sea.'

"When you get to Uni be sure to let that hair down responsibly."

'Hey! That's some facial cover-up job!'

"Height is the only thing I'm capable of changing about myself."

"Your Facebook page said nothing about you being a dung beetle!"

"My mates at the showroom said that I should start dating again."

"Careful Nora. There's nothing worse than a bad oyster!"

"In a world of beefcake, I'm dating tofu."

"I have two children from a previous economic cycle."

"I didn't put this in my personal ad, but I'm synonymous with Belgian cuisine."

"Sorry, but I never get a girls name tattooed, on a first date!"

"He said he was a dog person so I dated him, but he was secretly a cat person."

"This is the dumbest idea ever! I'm just gonna call Estella and ask her what's up."

'Like I said in my ad - GSOH.'

'The date didn't go too well. I should have taken her to a place that had more challenging placemats.'

'Well I struck out that time. She says she doesn't drink.'

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"Actually, I'm not long back on the dating scene myself."

"My blind date?! Oh, he was Arabian alright, but he was a camel..."

"Same old, same old, men seem intimidated by a strong woman..."

"We're not the type of ghosts he's afraid of. It's ghosting from the person he met on that dating site that he's afraid of."

"It's the unibrow, isn't it?"

"Oh, that's my cousin, Trevor... He's always had this animal magnetism..."