New Dad Diaries Pillows

Dear, I think Alayna needs to be burped again.

'Congratulations, Papa, Papa, Papa...'

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

"I hoped you'd change your hobby when you became a father"

Doughboy Dad

'We found you in a cabbage!'

"That's mine!"

"It's a boy, ... and two girls, then another boy, another girl, and there more boys."

"You know what they say, there's one born every minute!"

"Please doctor, hit him again. I need to get that ring-tone."

'You've got the Vietnam 1000 yard stare. All new parents get it!'

'Oh, don't mind Jeff. It's just his turn to change the Baby's nappy.'

"Travelling with Child Sketchbook - day 2."

'Congratulations! You're the proud father of three healthy, bouncing tax deductions!'

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: I need backup...NOW!

"Which one's yours?"

"Which one's mine?"

"Which one's yours?"

'She just came down the stairs without walking.'

"It's a dependent!"

"Anything interesting happen over the weekend, Frank?"

Kids really do make you view the world from a different perspective...I'm on the floor, behind the couch, under the bed...

"I'm sure he wasn't that big when we went out

'Oh wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

"It was a difficult delivery."

"The main skill you need in parenting, is the ability to surreptitiously eat chocolate."

"Please let go of Daddy's chest hair."

Baby At The Entrance Of The Maze Of Life

"Hey, little fella. Welcome to the risk pool."

"Listen up and listen up good, 'cause I'm only going to say this a million times."